Setting Relationship Margins

This post is taken from my personal Bible study notes during my pastor's sermon titled "Relational Margin."  

Relational Margin

My church pastors are taking us through a series called Margin.  It's about the margin space we need in life so we don't overload ourselves.  With enough margin space, we can make better choices and deal with our emotions.  With enough margin space in our relationships, we have all the time we need to love the most important people in our lives. 

In order to prioritize relationships, we need to prioritize our time.  Time is limited.  

So then, be careful how you walk, not as unwise people but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.  Ephesians 5:15-16

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.  For you are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.  James 4:14

Man is like a breath.  His days are like a passing shadow.  Psalm 144:4

Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  Psalm 90:12

This Psalm 90:12 Scripture wall decor is available here.

Time is fleeting.  Let's not fill it up with the wrong things.  What is taking up all your time?  Who is taking up all your time?

Jesus could have picked any number of disciples, but he only picked 12.  

We need relational margin.

We need to concentrate on our most important relationships.  

1.  God

2.  Spouse

3.  Children

4.  Our Work, Our Calling

How do we nourish our relationship with God?

Read God's Word every day.  Attend church weekly.  Pray every day.

This Beautiful Word Coloring Bible is available here.

How do we nourish our marriages?

We must take time for each other.  Our spouses are not our business partners.  

Ladies, submit to your husbands as the church does to Christ.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church.

Dialogue daily.  Date weekly.  Depart quarterly.  Make time to get away together.  

This Fireproof Couple's Kit is available here.

How do we nourish our relationships with our children?

Teach our children what the Bible says about obedience.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise so that it may turn out well for you and that you may live long on the earth.  Ephesians 6:1-3

We cannot farm out the discipleship of our children to others.  We must teach them and nourish them at home.

When can we nourish them?  We can take advantage of the time we have with then in the mornings while everyone is getting ready for the day, during the drive to school, 

Whenever the kids are captive, teach them about Jesus.  Take advantage of every opportunity.

Plan to have dinner together at least several times per week.  Someone suggested a rose/thorn conversation at dinner.  Talk about the best part of your day (the rose).  Listen to your kids when they tell you about the thorns, the parts of their day that hurt.

At bedtime, talk, pray, and read.  Time is fleeting.  My "children" are now 24, 27, and 29 and I have a 1 month old granddaughter.  I know all too well how fleeting time really is.  Trust me when I say:

Take advantage of every opportunity to nourish and disciple your children.  

Let's talk about technology.  One of the biggest time thieves of our time is technology.  

Listen closely, parents:

Do not let your children hold the devil's word in their hands.

There are positive and useful things about technology.  Without it, I couldn't be writing this post and you wouldn't be reading it . . . but we are adults.  Technology can be dangerous for children.  In fact, without parental wisdom and Godly parenting, technology IS dangerous for children. Parent wisely.

An unmonitored phone is like playing Russian Roulette with your child's life.

Someone recently mentioned the idea of relationship worship.  Are we worshiping others before worshiping God?  Even our children?  Are we placing our "family activities" before our family time with the Lord?  

I know this is an area where I could have done better when my kids were growing up.  They are all doing well now but looking back, I can see areas where we were placing "family fun" before worship.  There were too many places where opportunities were too available for them to stray. 

Honor Begins at Home is available here.

How do we nourish our work, our careers, our callings?

Again, we must prioritize our time.  We need to do away with time killers and time wasters.  Many of the time killers in our personal lives area also time killers in our work lives.

What sin or sins are sucking up our time?

Sexual immorality, laziness, gossip?  Other sins not mentioned?  What came to mind when you read that question?

What about other things?  Alcohol?

And do not get drunk with wine, in which there is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.  Ephesians 5:18

For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of indecent behavior, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties, and wanton idolatries.  1 Peter 4:3

We need to ask ourselves . . . is my life defined by my sin or my Savior?

What about "toxic" relationships . . . relationships that lead only to sin?  Are there any of those in our personal lives and work lives where we need to draw boundary lines?

Let's end with an open question.  

How can God change our families if we start focusing on the right relationships today?

This post is taken from my personal Bible study notes during my pastor's sermon titled Relational Margin.  You are invited to watch that sermon here.

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Relationship Margin